I keep trying...

Every second adds momentum. Every single second, the water hits me sharper because I'm moving faster. It's being trapped in an endless riverflow.

No one drifts at the same speed as me, and you can't tell until you judge the distance one blue moon. Then it hits you: the realization that every second adds momentum to something really, really bad. So I turn around and desperately try to knock back the force, to let myself be still for just a moment... I try to do something that's impossible.

You can paint anything in the colors of medoicrity. You can take the days that crush you and pretend they're just a thorn. When your skin is full of barbs, you realize how much they weigh. You realize what they really mean.

I can have my love trampled, my dignity laughed at, my compassion bled dry. All it does is kill you inside; You can always keep living as a basic human being. So I wait until something is revived, But waiting makes everything seem endless....

The hardest part of adaptation is having to lose a part of yourself.

Crashing.

My site crashed. Somehow a plugin I installed corrupted the file that had the database information... and it went to Hell. I'm using this again, now, because of that. I use way too many commas. , .

I like having a Blogspot instead of my own blog, though. Having a blog on my site, my own domain... just seems pretentious. I didn't want to come off as advertising my opinions so aureately. So I'll use this instead, and change my site into something much more profound.

I feel so forlorn in regards to... something. I'm not really sure what it is, the target. It is something ambiguous, yet I have much anger, sadness, hatred and bitterness directed at it. I've been trying to figure out what it is that makes me so frustrated with everything all the time. I need someone to relate to.

So the post before this one was something I wrote over a year ago. It's funny; I always feel the same way. Everything's a cycle. There is no beginning or end, just the cause of an effect... it's a spiral of pointless mulling.

If I was half as articulate as I used to be....